It is so exhausting to see and hear about suicides every day. It’s exhausting because every time someone commits suicide- wait let me rephrase it- every time someone famous commits suicide every single one of my timelines is filled with the Suicide Prevention Hotline Number and “Don’t do it” quotes. Every. Single. Time. There are quotes redirecting us people with mental health issues to this hotline and telling us we are strong and we should live and not commit suicide.
I hardly see anybody mention anything about signs of someone who is mentally ill. I hardly see anyone offer their own ears and heart to the depressed, the anxious, the bipolar. People will lift their thumbs to type a quote on their Facebook, or post a quote on Instagram and Twitter. I’m not saying it’s their responsibility to watch over the mentally ill, what I’m saying is that if they really want to be supportive, if YOU really want to be supportive don’t half ass it and just offer the number to a hotline or an overused quote.
Be there for people. Be kinder to people. Listen to people. Offer a smile to anyone you see. Visit a friend. ASK how people are doing, genuinely. TELL THEM you’re there for them and actually be there for them.
Some of us have chemical inbalances.
Some of us have a hard past.
Some of us don’t even know whats wrong.
All of us need love, care, compassion and a little understanding.
We are all tired of being sad, we are all tired of feeling nothing, we are all tired of feeling too much.
Ya’ll, there are more than suicide prevention lines. There are support groups out there that are FREE. You just have to get up outta bed, clean up a bit and go. Take the bus, ride a bike find a means to get there and go. Meet people like you with your same issues. I used Psychologytoday.com to find support groups in my area for free and some at a low price. I’m meeting people of all ages and people with all kinds of problems. I’ve heard someone with the same experience as me and it felt like a breath of fresh air because I felt normal for not being the only one with those feelings.
I understand that you want to stay in bed because you can’t even feel the hot summer rays on your skin. I understand that your hair is nappy from not washing it for days. I understand that you have body spray and deodorant on your night stand because it’s easier than getting up to bathe. I understand not looking in the mirror because you don’t even recognize yourself. I understand that you can’t close your eyes because they already feel closed. I understand crying after waking up because you just don’t want to wake up. I understand dry heaving from running out of tears. I understand. So many people understand.
It is okay to allow yourself to feel these feelings, but NEVER LET THEM BECOME YOU. Get up and do your bed even if it’s just to lay back in it. Splash some water on your face. Brush your teeth. Walk outside the door. Any little step is a step forward.
I am hurting writing this because the idea of anyone feeling remotely how I felt is fucking heart wrenching. You are not alone. You are not defined by what your mind makes you feel. You will always be you. Remember who you were and remember who you want to be.
If anything, you have my ears and my heart. I am here for you.