Now a days, there’s this whole stage you have to go over before you even become someones boyfriend or girlfriend and it isn’t even dating! You read that right. Dates don’t even happen until you’re boyfriend and girlfriend- sometimes. I don’t think there is a name for this stage in a relationship yet. It’s a confusing ass stage that is between friendship and boyfriend and girlfriend. It’s more than a friendship, but not enough to be boyfriend and girlfriend.
I call this stage, the shithole. Haha JK But sometimes it does feel this way. The way I’ve referred to it before is being in limbo. Being in limbo means having to stay balanced. It’s not a bad spot, I’m happy but there are days when I crave more.
As I stand here between friendship and relationship, I see myself closer to relationship. Family trips, staying over, sex, cooking together, tantrums, birthdays, intertwining finances, trustworthiness (?) and comfort in each others arms are ways we have inched closer together. This is the limbo stage.
We began as nothing. He chased me down a bit and once I gave him the peaches he didn’t really look for me anymore. It could’ve been that and my chaotic status in life. No matter what stage in life I am in I have always aimed to be nice and caring. Now that I know him better, he says he avoided me because he knew I wasn’t a girl to just mess with, I’m what people call a “relationship girl”. When I was “pursuing” him I was actually in the dating scene thanks to Tinder and bar hopping. But I always know what I want and I honestly had my eyes set on him. I just needed him to have his eyes on me, which I wasn’t super convinced on anyway cause he constantly ignored me and dating was fun. Dating is what I did when he would cancel plans *always* because there’s no way I was gonna stay at home stumped over one guy. The world keeps moving ladies, you gotta move with it!
Luckily, he came to his senses and realized I am pretty freaking awesome. Not awesome enough to cuff, but awesome enough to be with. He says and I QUOTE, with pride, that I am his “blessing” *insert angel emoji here*. I don’t know exactly what made him realize I was his blessing, but here I am blessing and all. 🙂
He has done a couple things that rub me the wrong way, but one of the best part about us is communication. I feel comfortable sharing things with him even things that bother me and he will answer me. Sometimes mad, but he answers me.
Because of my previous relationship and because of my anxiety, I have this constant tick that if we fight and the problem isn’t resolved right then and there, that he will leave me because you know, who wants to be be with someone if ya’ll fight? BUT fights happen in relationships and that’s what I have to remind myself the few times we have fought. One thing that helped me out a lot was him clearly telling me that it’s okay to let the flames calm down before continuing with the topic we were fighting about. Just because we fight and because he’s mad doesn’t mean he’s gonna leave and that is just so amazing. It’s great that he isn’t gonna leave me, but what is more amazing is that he says these things to ease my anxiety and crazy thoughts.
I have never had someone so understanding and caring like him. He’s honest, sometimes brutally honest, but he is so caring and loving in his own way. This limbo stage will either show you that you are walking towards the balanced end of the stick or that you should step off if the rope you’re walking on is too wobbly. No relationship is easy and not all relationships start the same, but when something feels right and all evidence shows to it going a good path, then maybe that’s where you are meant to be at that moment in time.
Being in limbo can have you full of uncertainty, or it can be the time where you are getting to know someone for the better. In my case, it’s the better. Being in limbo for me has been being able to have someone by my side in hard times yet being free to just worry about myself. Being in limbo is for those who have been hurt and need to legitimately test the waters before diving into a relationship. Whether I fall off this rope, or reach the end of it, I know I’ll be happy because anything that has happened while I’m on this rope has been thrilling, educational and best of all I am walking the rope with him.
A relationship limbo doesn’t always have to be something negative. I know the word I’m using to describe this stage of getting to know someone is usually used negatively, but there’s no order way I can describe it. Maybe a relationship limbo, for me, is something positive. That’s surely what it feels like, but who knows… What do you call this stage in a “relationship” ?